As a mother I recoil in horror at the one nightmare I don't think I could survive. I think of all the times my kids have driven me crazy, ruined my plans, caused me worry. But the thought that their problems could drive them to end it all has never crossed my mind. The size of the gap their absence would leave in the fabric of my universe is unfathomable. I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around this one.
His struggles are over, and I know a loving God understands that he just couldn't handle any more. I know he is at peace at last. But there is no peace for the people who loved him and worried about him. There is no peace to be found in not worrying any more.