It's been forever since I've sent out a post. July of last year. Ridiculous. I'm not sure why. The days of a retiree seem to go by at breakneck speed and I find myself overwhelmed (not edge of whelmed) with piano lessons and e-mail and laundry and visits to elderly relatives and the nagging thought that whatever I'm doing it isn't enough. So I take a nap. Or fall down the rabbit hole of You Tube or Facebook or Words With Friends. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a computer. I seriously wonder how anything got done when I was working in an office forty hours a week.
Admittedly I like to write (Palmer method) with a really good pen....sometimes a fountain pen...on yellow legal pads and compose poems or long lists of things to do, most of which get carried over from one page to the next for weeks and sometimes months on end. The entirety of Lent went by with very little acknowledgement from me. So on this, the first day after Easter, I'll start a "reverse Lent" and try to serious up from here......
Yesterday I took down the Christmas lights on the front porch and we finally got the tree (undecorated) out of the living room and into the attic. It just wouldn't have felt right to still have it up in April. If procrastination were an Olympic event I'm pretty sure I'd be looking at gold.
I do, however, find my approach to advanced years is getting more interesting. Today I decided that I've become the Velveteen Rabbit. The sharp edges have been worn away and I've calmed down a lot, even though that's pretty tough in an election year. I don't care so much about the things I used to care about. Wrinkles? Meh. Weight? So what? But kindness, ah, that's something else. Trying to not overreact to a difference in opinion, trying to learn how to listen, trying to appreciate and really understand at a visceral level that everyone is carrying a bag of rocks, some small and some large, that's become important.
Mortality is an interesting and timely topic. My fiftieth college reunion is next month, I've lost and continue to lose too many old friends, and all of this reminds me like a two by four to the back of the head that I actually DON'T have all the time in the world. Anything that's going to get done had better get going right now or it's not going to get finished.
My older sister, Cheryl, would take me for walks when I was a little girl. She's nine years older than I am, and she would take me by the hand and it seemed like every four steps she would give my arm a tug and say "Look where you're going, not where you've been." It used to tick me off no end because there was an awful lot to look at that was still new to me. These days I'm finding the direction helpful. My memory is rubbish. I can never leave Himself not only because he's wonderful, but also because I would have no past. I console myself with the thought that this means that I am living in the present moment, which is such a cool zen thing to do. I also like the thought of where I'm going. I have as many friends on one side of The Great Divide as I have on the other, so reunions will be nice. And I am increasingly grateful for my faith which is such a comfort in this scary world. The world has always been scary. It's always looked as if Armageddon were around the corner. But in my wrinkled wonderfulness I have learned to take all the problems I cannot solve and put them in the lap of the Deity and hope She doesn't stand up.
Oh yeah. And humor. Whatever else you lose as you age, don't lose that.
Talk to you all soon. Or at least that's the plan!
Admittedly I like to write (Palmer method) with a really good pen....sometimes a fountain pen...on yellow legal pads and compose poems or long lists of things to do, most of which get carried over from one page to the next for weeks and sometimes months on end. The entirety of Lent went by with very little acknowledgement from me. So on this, the first day after Easter, I'll start a "reverse Lent" and try to serious up from here......
Yesterday I took down the Christmas lights on the front porch and we finally got the tree (undecorated) out of the living room and into the attic. It just wouldn't have felt right to still have it up in April. If procrastination were an Olympic event I'm pretty sure I'd be looking at gold.
I do, however, find my approach to advanced years is getting more interesting. Today I decided that I've become the Velveteen Rabbit. The sharp edges have been worn away and I've calmed down a lot, even though that's pretty tough in an election year. I don't care so much about the things I used to care about. Wrinkles? Meh. Weight? So what? But kindness, ah, that's something else. Trying to not overreact to a difference in opinion, trying to learn how to listen, trying to appreciate and really understand at a visceral level that everyone is carrying a bag of rocks, some small and some large, that's become important.
Mortality is an interesting and timely topic. My fiftieth college reunion is next month, I've lost and continue to lose too many old friends, and all of this reminds me like a two by four to the back of the head that I actually DON'T have all the time in the world. Anything that's going to get done had better get going right now or it's not going to get finished.
My older sister, Cheryl, would take me for walks when I was a little girl. She's nine years older than I am, and she would take me by the hand and it seemed like every four steps she would give my arm a tug and say "Look where you're going, not where you've been." It used to tick me off no end because there was an awful lot to look at that was still new to me. These days I'm finding the direction helpful. My memory is rubbish. I can never leave Himself not only because he's wonderful, but also because I would have no past. I console myself with the thought that this means that I am living in the present moment, which is such a cool zen thing to do. I also like the thought of where I'm going. I have as many friends on one side of The Great Divide as I have on the other, so reunions will be nice. And I am increasingly grateful for my faith which is such a comfort in this scary world. The world has always been scary. It's always looked as if Armageddon were around the corner. But in my wrinkled wonderfulness I have learned to take all the problems I cannot solve and put them in the lap of the Deity and hope She doesn't stand up.
Oh yeah. And humor. Whatever else you lose as you age, don't lose that.
Talk to you all soon. Or at least that's the plan!
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