Lately I often don't leave the house for days on end. Himself goes for a run almost every day, but I don't even enjoy walking the neighborhood, and when I do it's more of an "ought to" than a "want to". Since tomorrow is trash day and they are beginning to pick up yard trash, I decided it was a good time to make a small dent in all the leaves under the front hedges which have been the refuge of squirrels, mice, birds, and I don't want to know what else for the whole winter. There was fresh air and exercise and an audible sigh of relief from my neighbors with their manicured lawns. I filled three bags and felt pretty good about it. I'll fill more tomorrow. Maybe.
I've also been toiling away inside on washing the winter clothes and the spring clothes, and finding out what really IS in that enormous pile in my bedroom (I'll let you know if I ever get to the bottom). I have been tidying the linen closet and tossing expired prescriptions and cough syrups from the medicine chest. Nothing is terribly obvious yet, but I am beginning to see a difference. And it's mostly in my head.
I seem to be finding relief in order. It's a catharsis to shovel out the Tupperware without the lids, or the socks without a mate, or the twelve wooden spoons when I might need three. Eventually it will show to the naked eye, but for now it is enough that it is giving me a feeling of being in control of something at a time when absolutely nothing feels in control. This, at least, is something I can do, something concrete and healthy and necessary on several levels.
I have often told my husband that if I ever got really sick he was to call Merry Maids and THEN 911 in that order. Living in chaos is not fun. It hasn't been fun in my physical space, and lately it's even less fun in my emotional space. It's daunting to try figure out how to manage the anxiety about the virus, and the economy, and the rapidly changing state of the world. So I will do a little something positive each day, both to fill the time and to calm my spirit. And as the saying goes, "How do you eat an elephant?....One bite at a time!"
I've also been toiling away inside on washing the winter clothes and the spring clothes, and finding out what really IS in that enormous pile in my bedroom (I'll let you know if I ever get to the bottom). I have been tidying the linen closet and tossing expired prescriptions and cough syrups from the medicine chest. Nothing is terribly obvious yet, but I am beginning to see a difference. And it's mostly in my head.
I seem to be finding relief in order. It's a catharsis to shovel out the Tupperware without the lids, or the socks without a mate, or the twelve wooden spoons when I might need three. Eventually it will show to the naked eye, but for now it is enough that it is giving me a feeling of being in control of something at a time when absolutely nothing feels in control. This, at least, is something I can do, something concrete and healthy and necessary on several levels.
I have often told my husband that if I ever got really sick he was to call Merry Maids and THEN 911 in that order. Living in chaos is not fun. It hasn't been fun in my physical space, and lately it's even less fun in my emotional space. It's daunting to try figure out how to manage the anxiety about the virus, and the economy, and the rapidly changing state of the world. So I will do a little something positive each day, both to fill the time and to calm my spirit. And as the saying goes, "How do you eat an elephant?....One bite at a time!"
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