The Edge of Whelmed
  • Edge of Whelmed

Fa La La, Ready or Not!

11/8/2012

1 Comment

 
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Everyone is already complaining about how the stores are rushing the season.  Walmart is having their "Black Friday Sale" starting on Thanksgiving night at 8PM (yes, that is heinous).  Decorated trees have been assembled and decorated in Home Depot since before Halloween.  It isn't Veterans' Day yet and I'm getting into a panic because I haven't finished my shopping. I haven't started my shopping.  But some of us have to get ready early, because we are professional carolers.  I know.  You are impressed.  OK, maybe you're not. But it's fun. 
Since I sing along at the mall with the Salvation Army (They aren't allowed to sing anymore.  Did you know that?  I guess it interferes with the endlessly blasting ads on the overhead televisions.  So I ask what their favorite carol is and I belt it out with my shopping bags in hand.  Let Mall Security mess with a paying customer and see what happens, Baby!), I figured I might as well make a buck or two at it as well.  Every year I look like Mary Todd Lincoln as I waddle through various nursing homes, office parties, and "town strolls" and help the locals get into the spirit.  I tell you this now because I've already started receiving assignments so I'm getting excited.

Now under that huge, flowing skirt is a petticoat with a wire hoop sewn in.  I am required to arrive at the scene "in costume" which is a tad challenging since I drive a standard shift car.  You know those "pop up tents" the kids have?  It's a lot like that, except I have to shove fifty yards of fabric out of my way without wrinkling it too badly and so it stays out of the way of my gear shift.  There is a growing suspicion that some people hire us year after year to watch me explode out of my car.  I also can't wear a coat, so the outdoor assignments are an adventure in layer dressing.  All nursing homes are kept at 102 degrees Fahrenheit and all outdoor assignments occur in sub-Arctic weather.  It's a challenge.

Sometimes we have little surprises.  Steven Tyler came to the tree lighting in his town and sang a song with us.  It was the very first time my younger son (that's he in the top hat) had joined me, and he thought this sort of thing happened all the time.  Uh. No.  Older brother was not happy about that one.  Not happy at all.

Anyway, although I'm not ready to go shopping yet and I refuse to do so until after Thanksgiving, I'm starting to get that "nip on the end of your nose" buzz from the weather and the prospect of helping people remember the reason for the season is pleasant.  Plus, I'm still unemployed and let's face it, a buck is a buck.



1 Comment
Andrea
11/17/2012 06:13:08 am

here is a secret about the over-head televisions in mall and stores: you can turn them off! My spouse pretends not to know me....the lady who carries an umbrella or looks for the store remote and turns off ALL the t.v.'s ... they're frequently playing different stations and the cognitive dissonance is too stressful for shoppers (my excuse) to make good decisions - to shop! - they may not stay off for long, but it feels good for the moment - Be strong.

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    The author, a voice over actor who became a mother for the first time at age 40 and has been winging it ever since, attempts to share her views on the world, mostly to help her figure it out for herself.  What the heck?  It's cheaper than therapy.

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