New Beginnings

A week from today I embark on an adventure.  While I'll keep on at the boutique part-time, I've also found a part-time job in town, which will involve dressing like a grownup, commuting on the subway, and finding a place to park my car.  It's only from ten in the morning to three in the afternoon five days a week, but it's working for a company that sends out staff to people who might otherwise have to be institutionalized, and this company enables them to stay either in their own home or in group homes.  I'll be behind the desk at reception, and doing projects on the computer, but I feel good about contributing to a worthwhile organization and getting back into the swing of things after almost fourteen years on the sidelines. 

The flexibility to go out to lunch with friends or take care of my mother in the middle of the day was important, but now that mother is gone, and the boys are away for much of the year, and I have too much time to brood over friends lost, I think it's a good thing to get busy.  The hope is that, like most busy people, I'll wind up accomplishing more at home than I did when I was here full-time.  Some days the inertia feels like a swimming pool filled with maple syrup trying to pull me to the bottom.  The phone calls from people I love which used to brighten my days are now few and far between and the silence is deafening.  It's time to reinvent what my life is, because whether I like it or not, it has changed dramatically in the last few months.  I can sit and weep or I can move forward.  And forward looks more interesting.