Well, we got the word about the job. And the word wasn't "yes" but I'm putting on my happy face and dealing with the disappointment. At least I got to the interviewing process, and from what I hear that is becoming rather unusual these days for most applicants. It gives me hope. Which brings me back to yesterday's entry about letting God steer my shopping cart.
I really do believe that there is a plan and I am just clueless as to what it is. The trick now is to quiet the pity party, the self-doubt, the panic, and just listen to what is really going on in the Inner Chamber, as I like to call that place in my heart where it's just me and The Deity. My dear friend Flanagan (missing him again, doggone it) often told me, "Be a human being, not a human doing!" and there was wisdom in that, as in most things he said. It's hard in this society to be quiet all the way down to the core and not feel guilty about not doing laundry or sending out resumes or inventing chocolate that makes you skinny. But just as the fields have to lie fallow every so often or they stop producing crops, the heart has to have a "time out" away from the hustle and bustle to learn what is actually important. What makes me happy? What would I love to do so much that I would be embarrassed to get paid to do it (that's legal, of course)? And of course I'd cash the check anyway. And the answer is "Uhhhhhhhhhhh" which isn't much of an answer at all. I love writing. It's fun and it comes easily and it's basically just typing out the voices that chatter all day in my head. I love doing voice over work. I even did a commercial or two back in the day (complete with sung jingle). Or singing. Or, or, or. Oh wait. This isn't me being quiet and learning from this experience. This is me chatting with you. (Who did you say you are, anyway?) So it's time for a cup of tea, a thank you note and a dinner out with a friend. Tomorrow the search begins anew and we'll figure out how to live life "happily ever after" one step at a time the same way everyone else does. And sometime this evening I am planning on a half hour or so of rocking in a chair in front of the fireplace and listening. Just listening.
I really do believe that there is a plan and I am just clueless as to what it is. The trick now is to quiet the pity party, the self-doubt, the panic, and just listen to what is really going on in the Inner Chamber, as I like to call that place in my heart where it's just me and The Deity. My dear friend Flanagan (missing him again, doggone it) often told me, "Be a human being, not a human doing!" and there was wisdom in that, as in most things he said. It's hard in this society to be quiet all the way down to the core and not feel guilty about not doing laundry or sending out resumes or inventing chocolate that makes you skinny. But just as the fields have to lie fallow every so often or they stop producing crops, the heart has to have a "time out" away from the hustle and bustle to learn what is actually important. What makes me happy? What would I love to do so much that I would be embarrassed to get paid to do it (that's legal, of course)? And of course I'd cash the check anyway. And the answer is "Uhhhhhhhhhhh" which isn't much of an answer at all. I love writing. It's fun and it comes easily and it's basically just typing out the voices that chatter all day in my head. I love doing voice over work. I even did a commercial or two back in the day (complete with sung jingle). Or singing. Or, or, or. Oh wait. This isn't me being quiet and learning from this experience. This is me chatting with you. (Who did you say you are, anyway?) So it's time for a cup of tea, a thank you note and a dinner out with a friend. Tomorrow the search begins anew and we'll figure out how to live life "happily ever after" one step at a time the same way everyone else does. And sometime this evening I am planning on a half hour or so of rocking in a chair in front of the fireplace and listening. Just listening.
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