One of the paybacks for the pain of childbirth, years of cramps, and mood swings is the ineffable joy that only women (well...and a few cross-dressers) experience at the end of the day when slipping out of pantyhose. It is a bliss that dwarfs the best chocolate in the world. This is probably one of the real reasons that people bemoan the end of summer. The sandals go on in May and come off with a crowbar around the time chilblains are forming on the toes. So when I needed to get "dressed like a grownup" for a job interview I had to try to remember what I had actually done with said instruments of torture at the beginning of spring. Not one clue. I put on the suit, the tasteful earrings with matching necklace, the heels, but my legs were bare. And then it dawned on me. I had read an article that the Duchess of Cambridge ("Kate" to her friends), had "revived" the trend to wear hose. I was a little surprised since I was never aware they had gone out of style. Just my rotten luck that I had missed the fad I'd been waiting for since I was thirteen. And now it was over. Or was it?
I seemed to remember that there was a discussion about how "old fashioned" it was to wear hose and how surprising it was that the Duchess was going that route. OK. If it's old fashioned, maybe I could get away with being "with it" by being "without it" and not bothering. I felt absolutely racy, but I was running short of time, so off I went. All the way to the interview I held the debate in my head. "Should I? What does this say about me? Does it say I'm on top of the trends or down on my luck and can't afford L'eggs? (Do they still make L'eggs?)" This was a burning issue. With ten minutes to spare I stopped at the grocery store and picked up a pair of Sheer Energy in nude (if you wear them, they HAVE to match your skin tone) and stuck them in my purse. I asked the opinion of the cashier and her bag boy. "Do people wear pantyhose anymore?" Heads shook from side to side. "Can I get away with this?" "Well, what are you wearing? Is that the outfit? C'mere!" I got the once over and was gratified to receive two thumbs up.
I made it to the interview in plenty of time. I don't know if the panel noticed that I wasn't wearing hose. They were busy watching me scramble when my telephone screamed a message from my purse that the nursing home was calling me for the second time in two years. I tried to ignore it, but they insisted that I take it. Things went rather well, other than that, or at least I think so. The whole day was quite an education. And by the way, have you tried to buy a slip lately?
I seemed to remember that there was a discussion about how "old fashioned" it was to wear hose and how surprising it was that the Duchess was going that route. OK. If it's old fashioned, maybe I could get away with being "with it" by being "without it" and not bothering. I felt absolutely racy, but I was running short of time, so off I went. All the way to the interview I held the debate in my head. "Should I? What does this say about me? Does it say I'm on top of the trends or down on my luck and can't afford L'eggs? (Do they still make L'eggs?)" This was a burning issue. With ten minutes to spare I stopped at the grocery store and picked up a pair of Sheer Energy in nude (if you wear them, they HAVE to match your skin tone) and stuck them in my purse. I asked the opinion of the cashier and her bag boy. "Do people wear pantyhose anymore?" Heads shook from side to side. "Can I get away with this?" "Well, what are you wearing? Is that the outfit? C'mere!" I got the once over and was gratified to receive two thumbs up.
I made it to the interview in plenty of time. I don't know if the panel noticed that I wasn't wearing hose. They were busy watching me scramble when my telephone screamed a message from my purse that the nursing home was calling me for the second time in two years. I tried to ignore it, but they insisted that I take it. Things went rather well, other than that, or at least I think so. The whole day was quite an education. And by the way, have you tried to buy a slip lately?
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