It's trash day and I'm missing "my staff." Granted, the trash is a lot smaller when the boys are away at college, and also that I am quite healthy and capable of hauling the recycles and bins out to the curb, but it is still making me sad. I'm finding that I don't like having less trash. Or noise. Or chaos. I rather liked being the center of the cyclone, and now that it's quiet around here I need to figure out what my days will look like. There is a loneliness involved in this.
The fact that autumn is fast approaching is not helping a bit. Fall is supposed to be the time of new notebooks, backpacks that would make a burro cry, and endless papers and forms to sign. And it is. But not here. Not this year. I am so excited that my sons are getting a great education at two very wonderful (and expensive...never forget expensive) schools. People ask me how I am doing with the "empty nest." I get the feeling that I should either respond to this with a tear in my eye and a quivering chin, or a lurid wink and the impression that my husband and I are chasing each other through each empty room of the house and rediscovering the wild passions of twenty years ago. Neither one is quite true. And each is a little true. It's nice not having to figure out what I'm making for dinner for four and not having to play chauffeur (that's right...neither drives) to various and sundry social engagements that really mess up whatever it is I want to do. And, yes, it's very nice not to worry about who is going to come bursting through the door when Himself is working from home and we "break for lunch", but the truth is the house does feel empty. What is my purpose these days anyway, if it isn't to be "Mom"? I could be cleaning up around here, but that doesn't strike me as particularly fulfilling...or likely.
l guess this is my "back to school" time for a change. Time to figure out what it is I need to learn. Learning something new always makes me feel better. I picked up piano 7 years ago. Maybe I'll dust off the Evening Programs catalog from the local high school and see what they have to offer. Because the evenings are worse than the afternoons around here. The storm door gets locked a lot earlier than it used to, because once Himself is back from work, or his run...we're all in for the night.
The fact that autumn is fast approaching is not helping a bit. Fall is supposed to be the time of new notebooks, backpacks that would make a burro cry, and endless papers and forms to sign. And it is. But not here. Not this year. I am so excited that my sons are getting a great education at two very wonderful (and expensive...never forget expensive) schools. People ask me how I am doing with the "empty nest." I get the feeling that I should either respond to this with a tear in my eye and a quivering chin, or a lurid wink and the impression that my husband and I are chasing each other through each empty room of the house and rediscovering the wild passions of twenty years ago. Neither one is quite true. And each is a little true. It's nice not having to figure out what I'm making for dinner for four and not having to play chauffeur (that's right...neither drives) to various and sundry social engagements that really mess up whatever it is I want to do. And, yes, it's very nice not to worry about who is going to come bursting through the door when Himself is working from home and we "break for lunch", but the truth is the house does feel empty. What is my purpose these days anyway, if it isn't to be "Mom"? I could be cleaning up around here, but that doesn't strike me as particularly fulfilling...or likely.
l guess this is my "back to school" time for a change. Time to figure out what it is I need to learn. Learning something new always makes me feel better. I picked up piano 7 years ago. Maybe I'll dust off the Evening Programs catalog from the local high school and see what they have to offer. Because the evenings are worse than the afternoons around here. The storm door gets locked a lot earlier than it used to, because once Himself is back from work, or his run...we're all in for the night.
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